MY II BIGGEST DECISION OF LIFE…EARLY PREPARATION FOR II INNINGS

 

Today again after a long walk in Marine drive and contemplating with my favourite Sun, setting on the backwaters of Kochi City, I felt like writing about something which I consider as my second most important decision in Life.

Yesterday also, I was in this place watching Solar Eclipse followed by  a visit to Ernakulathappan Shiva Temple for post Grahana kala puja.  It was a divine experience in temple especially after all the recent turbulences of bike accident, ill health and my long absence from family due to training at IIM, Lucknow.

After writing about my Bike-conquest with time and distance, within a short time I am back to writing on similar sentiments, but this time stronger than before. I remember to have ended that blog with a saying that it is a preparation for Vanaprastha and I didn’t think that it will get triggered so soon.  Of course this writing is not to be published before 31-12-2022 for security reasons.!! 

I enjoyed a brief sabbatical of around 8 months at Kochi from May 2023 (including one month stint at prestigious IIM, Lucknow).  I explored my peak minimalism in action for several months also and now its time to think about taking to a different level. Quite a few blogs written and my Solitary confinement has its own impact.

It all happened like this......

Exactly 13 days before on 13^th when I had to rush back to Mangalore to see my most precious bundle of joy, lying helplessly with deep bruises/injury both physical and mental, I felt deeply sad for my absence.  That day early morning at around 5 am I woke up sitting for a long time and taking stock of all options, for a peaceful II Innings of Life.

I had already decided that I will quit Department at least 2 years before retirement, if I am not going back from Kochi.  All that freedom, glitter, exploration looked very superficial for a moment.  I decided to quit asap since the pros weighed heavier than cons.  I miss my Pamily than anything else and within two to three years, both my son’s would be away on their career progression, which is quite inevitable. 

More than anything else, I have keenly observed the failing health of Veenu during last one year and it’s high time that I get back from Work permanently. We have so many unfinished jobs to do, in terms of exploration of sacred places and real Pamily time with Veenu, without botheration’s of my first Wife.

My own freedom is curtailed to a great extent as an inevitable part of Official Life since long.  I could not plan for many things and this left a sense of deprivation with regard to my own obsessions which remained unfulfilled.  Pamily Life and Official Life, both are enjoyable for a reason and beyond a point, we have to chose. Official life is actually impairing my ability move around and explore Life.

Initially, I had an obsession of going away from City and building a Farm House at distance Mysore, outskirts of Bangalore.  All this boiled down to a small site in the outskirts of Mangalore, surrounded by houses neck to neck. 

I had later compromised myself to being good with a decent three/four bed room flat in a convenient locality at Mysore, for our music pursuits and frequent visits to Bangalore.  This also now appeared to be a distant dream and I am now presently seeing the possibility of not venturing anything new and just spend wherever Life takes.  Even I had a thought of keeping the ground floor of RMS house as our Bangalore Guest House,  if it is necessary.

Life changes our opinions, obsessions, desires in due course.  Kalaaya Tasmai Namah!!  Thirty six Years of Government Service is Long enough and of course, it was a Satisfactory part of Life which gave me Social status, a deep sense of social responsibility and sound means of Life.  But we have to Leave when you are in prime (or little later) and have time to enjoy/explore II innings.

I give rest to my thoughts here as certain things are to be left Open for the future to decide.  If all goes well, I intend publishing this on 31-12-2022 being my 56^th Birthday.

Today is 26th October, 2022.