VEENU IN MY LIFE

 

18.09.1973 ..18.09.2022 - 49 TO 50 – 15.01.1994 TO 18.09.2022

These look like some coordinates in our life…… 

The first one is Veenu as a person and the second is the time period of our journey together.  My first memories about her is regarding a cute looking serious girl who is always busy setting things right, be it a displaced bed sheet or a vessel which is not in its place. Sometimes it is also an unattended light burning in a corner of the house. She never allowed anyone to switch on light and move away from that place!!

She was fondly called as “Sathya Bhaame”, “Elu suttina mallige”,  by my “Amma”, and she herself was one such person and could easily relate herself in the grandchild.  Seethajji was Veenu’s favorite and she frequently visited our house; and of course I am the next pretty charming Cheeni telling her all kinds of imaginary stories.  She would always pester me to tell more and more stories and my stock wouldn’t long last.  I would happily spin a story in a story which she actually believed to be a true story. 

Fooling her was so much fun.  Kitty usually teased her off with geeks on Rajakumar songs and she would run behind him with a ruler in hand; but could never catch him for a beat !!  I was the more decent guy but I pestered her differently. With my strategic carom skills, I made her lose the game.

Probably I had a great liking for this girl and never thought she also had a liking for me till 15011994 from where our journey started together.  Our official married life started on 20021995 and I always get confused about my wedding anniversary date even now.

After very first week of our disclosure of like for each other, we went to Nandi Hills on my Hero Puch.  I was a Hero only from outside and petrol available was just enough to come back.  My purse had just around Rs.30 for expenses !!  In fact, I remember, I switched off the engine while coming down hill, to save petrol. 

This heightened the thrill we already have in eloping without anyone’s knowledge or permission. We suddenly decided to go in the afternoon and spent time on the Hill.  We never knew what to do and just chilled talking something which I don’t really remember.

Next was convincing the parents from both sides about preparation for marriage ceremonies. I wanted a good marriage hall and at a reasonable price. The compromise was that we booked “Shree Dharmasthala Manjunatha Chowltry”at Basavanagudi, for just ONE day whereas the marriage functions usually need at least three days.  Tough time managing the show and Appa and also Akka had to suffer in the process tweaking and speeding up the processes. 

After marriage, it opened up a Pandora’s box as we didn’t really knew each other very well, and we just believed so. It happens in any relation where the intentions are not made known in advance and we tend to assume things.  I had no inclination of her liking and in fact, dissuaded by Akkaji against entertaining any such thoughts in my mind.

 I very well remember the day when we had a discussion with her on this issue, on the steps of Chamarajpet House, when she clearly told her mind to me about consanguine marriages in the family.  That day, I immediately left all my inner thoughts and feelings about Veenu when Akkaji strongly told about her will against our marriage.  Had I knew that Veenu had a different feeling, things would have been quite different.

Things changed with marriage and …also family circumstances. 

Losing mother at the age of 18 and trying to adjust to the new circumstances after Kitty’s marriage made me more serious than before and I looked everything from a logical mind without trying to get emotional.  It’s always my habit to count the pros and cons of every little decision to be taken by me.  I can say that there was a lack of romantic element and I was trying to be more practical than needed.  The expectations were different after marriage. What was seen as a charming nature and strength started becoming troublesome.

Veenu wanted to pursue her musical skills academically and joined MA and later M.Phil music at Bangalore University.  She did her advanced tutelage with stalwarts like Vidwan Nagendra Shastry and I willingly stayed at her beck and call.  I used to take her for musical concerts at Kote Venkataramana temple – Rama Navami Mahotsava and it instantly harnessed my musical inclinations. 

My interactions with music fraternity became a source of inspiration and helped me to appreciate richness of Karnatic musical heritage. I had a chance to accompany her for M.Phil thesis preparation and met stalwarts like Dr.Ra Sa at Mysore and various connected persons in the field.  During three hour long concerts at Rama Navami festival, I also got some beautiful musical insights which made me skillful to enough to recognize many Ragas and the corresponding krithis. 

As the days progressed, there was pressure for a grand-son and we had no clue.  It was almost 5.5 years after marriage and expectations were genuine.  Then came this great news after a detailed checkup that I am going to be a father.  Little Chinmaya landed in our lives with a big bang and life has never been same as before, with his grand arrival !!!!

Welcome back.  Pick up where you left….

This is what happened in real life as well as in this story.

Upon arrival of this little cutey in our lives, we had to leave Bangalore and entire responsibility was on our shoulders.  Akka used to come as frequently as possible since, she was also working. Stress levels were up and I was handling this fellow almost on a war footing!!  He was very active and grabbed maximum attention possible. We enjoyed our life outside Bangalore visiting some good places and our deep connection with Kanchana also developed. We had good times in Mangalore except for some unwanted exploration of spirituality and illusory chasing of unknown worlds, at the cost of family. 

In between, another star was born in our little family and this curly little fella slipped into her lap as a god given treasure.  This treasure never wanted to leave his Amma and always tucked in her pallu.  He brought lots of cheers to all of us and enough maturity dawned on us with past experience in parenting. Chinmaya got his best present at very early age and this was a good turning point for the family to move on.

We moved to Mysore after three years in Mangalore and family life is now set with our past experience of handling things independently. The main idea of going to Mysore was to settle down and explore musical environment there.  It did not happen for various reasons beyond my control and again we moved out to Belgaum.  From there to Panaji and then back to Mangalore where we settled more or less.  Family settled down, but I got kicked out within a month’s time to Kozhikode. 

Veenu handled well the family affairs with my occasional week end interventions.  Back home in 2015 I steered the ship along with her and she started pursuing Yoga, Music more vigorously.  I always felt that she can do better, if she can balance things more wisely and allocate time for these pursuits.  However, due to her sensitive nature she found her way very late, in spite of resources and time for the same.  Made some good friends and developed more mature attitude towards vagaries of life slowly and started to get into the mode of a mature woman. 

Now, to conclude, I would say that she is the most important person in my life, who knows me very well and sometimes more than myself.  What I saw as a serious little girl back in 1970s has given me immense joy in terms of two wonderful KIDS and a deep perception of life through her musical abilities and perseverance.  I wish she would have accomplished many more things since I firmly believed that it was quite possible.  However, there is nothing to regret and we are destined to get what we deserve and not just desire.

This was my brief journey with her for the last 49 years and I wish to exuberantly continue for at least another 49, so that we can relive certain missed moments and cherish life as it is.  It was a great journey so far, which prevented me from going haywire with all my uncertain ideas and too much analytical mind. Life is a great leveler and so is my WIFE who grounded me unceremoniously and I am thankful for that !!.

I will stop here and WISH HER GOOD LUCK AND HEALTH & ABUNDANT JOYFULNESS in the coming 49.